Friday, August 29, 2008

Golden White Light--Everywhere

Sitting on the couch reading to the kids. Tristan is ansy and I give him the 1-2-3 then give him his time out. Or I watch myself giving him his time-out. I see the time-out given. He is angry, I see that, and I feel that with any slightest bit of anger, I lose myself, I lose the sense of myself. I lose awareness. I never want to lose that. I feel it ebbs and flows.

I read to Elena and then went and got Tristan up--he was happy. We put on our shoes and went down to take out the trash. Outside, in the brightness of the day, I almost felt I was floating. It wasn't really the 'me' walking or the 'me' seeing. Cars, the reflections of light, form everywhere. Breathing. There.

Brought the kids to school, dropped them off in the industrial area. While driving I felt the total car presence with other drivers.

Then at the post office, waiting in line. Two women in front of me laugh, a man in front of them. The co-presence of a line can be the most beautiful part of the day. I noticed from a clock on the wall it had only been 15 minutes since I'd dropped the kids off. 15 minutes, and it felt like days, like an eternity, beautifully. I could have stayed in that line, as if on an island with these other lovely souls, forever.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

How can

Any weather
Any word

Just not possible...

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

just us/justice

the whole world
a big open ooooom
a big circle in space

we regard each other
the lovely muslimschristiansgaysstraightschineseamericangolferhusbanddaughte

all mixed up
all changing
all good


Not looking

for another relationship
for a new home
for a new job
for a new body
for something to eat
to have fun
to be entertained.

Just looking

to say hello

to have a conversation

or not

Just being
A just being

So much space

to open up into

with each habit lost
with each emotion felt
with each person appreciated
with each little sound that's heard

there's a space

so much time
so much energy

so much

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

The Internet is a Giant Brain

Full of gold and garbage,
And I swim in this collective mass,
Searching for points of resonance,
of collusion, of interest, of growth.

Everything I see
Reflects me.

Simultaneously anonymous and painfully public,
Infinitely maleable

It's our human thing.
Look, universe: us.

And we look at it and into it,
Spiralling, playing, reading, displaying
Pulling out pushing in
Mysterious to others in our homes
Into our own heads as we browse the collective one
Often giggling!
Sometimes horrified.
And sometimes even innocent.

We search we search we search
and always, always end up coming back
to ourselves.

True Enlightenment